I mentioned in one of my very first posts on this blog that I wanted to explore the idea of unity. In the little time I’ve thought about it, I’ve come to theorize that we really don’t have much of a clue what this means in our culture. The idea of individualism – yeah, we get it. But the idea of unity is very foreign. When it comes to relationships in the Bible, unity is a major theme. Adam and Eve being one flesh. The unity of Israel. Jesus one with the Father. The disciples being ‘one’.
I think unity is something that some of us may think we “get” but still maybe don’t. For me, the idea of unity has come to the forefront of my mind in the context of my marriage. When we got married we were told we were becoming one. Yet, 8 years later, we still, in many regards, do not live or even think like we are one. Well, I can’t speak for my wife, but I can speak for myself.
What I came to realize is how often I say the word “I” in regard to something I will be doing or planning or thinking. My wife and I were united in marriage. Why is it that there is all this “me” and “you” and “he” and “she” talk when we are, in reality, one? Why is it that I do “my” thing and she does “her” thing? Now, I realize that not every married couple is so compatible that they feel then need to engage in every single activity together. But how much has our individualistic society trained (or brainwashed) us into viewing a marriage relationship as two individuals? I don’t really have this figured out by any means. I think God has just shown me that there’s a whole other level of intimacy and unity that we have yet to realize – how exciting!
So I’m trying to retrain myself. Whenever I say or think “Me” I try to remember to say or think “We”. That doesn’t always make sense at first (such as WE are going to train for a half-marathon) but it really helps me have the right perspective. If all I thought was “I” am going to train for a half-marathon, what happens to my wife who has to watch the kids an extra hour after work when I’m running? What about her exercise time? I can’t be naïve and think that what I do on “my” time won’t affect her at all.
So anyway, I’m trying to find all the “me”s in my thinking and replaced them with “we”. After all, I gave up my life as a single 8 years ago when I joined with her.